When my wife and I got engaged, we decided that we were going to work out and eat right so that we could lose some weight for the wedding.  That didn’t work out.  I am pretty sure that we gained weight before the wedding.  Well, about a week ago and seven weeks into our married life, Mel started eating like a healthy person: reasonable portions, balanced meals, the whole shebang.  I have continued on with my unhealthy habits.  You see, I have a remarkable gift.  No matter how poorly I eat, I will maintain my current weight.  The magic number is 310.  When I was in high school, I started playing tennis and my weight went from 310 lbs. to 280 lbs.  When I broke my leg and stopped playing tennis, I went right back to 310, and I’ve been there ever since.  Now, if the magic number was, say, 240, I would be as happy as can be.  But the magic number is 310, and as Charles Barkley will tell you, “I don’t care who you are, if you weigh more than 300 pounds, you are fat!”

 

Right now I am going to start living healthier.  I want to lose weight, yes, but I also love the way that I feel when I go to the gym regularly and eat the right foods.  I am not going to be a hardcore gym rat.  I am not going to give up hamburgers forever.  My goals are to go to the gym twice a week to use the weight/resistance machines, commit two hours a week to cardio exercise, and control my food portions.

 

As an added incentive, Mel and I are competing.  If she loses 10% of her body weight before I lose 10% of mine, then I have to go see the Sex in the City movie with her.

 

Challenge extended.  Challenge accepted.

 

Vaya con Dios, amigos.

The Judge